A Little Science Humor for Lunch

Posted on by Sara Klink

At ScienceOnline 2012, Brian Malow also known as @sciencecomedian performed a short routine during the Saturday lunch. He complained that several jokes floating around the web were not attributed to him so I thought I would share a few I remembered complete with attribution. His sense of humor appealed to me as I was raised in a home rife with puns. Yes, my family can carry on an entire conversation dedicated to a single theme, no music necessary.

Fans of the television show “The Big Bang Theory” are likely to understand this reference: Schrödinger’s cat walked into a bar…or did it?

For chemistry buffs: Helium drifted into a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases in this bar.” Helium doesn’t react.

If you enjoy reading about the Large Hadron Collider and the search for a certain particle: A Higgs Boson entered a church. The priest said “We don’t allow your kind in here.” The Higgs Boson replied “Without me, you have no mass.”

Microbiologists may appreciate this one: An infectious disease enters a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve your kind. You’re Staph.”

More wordplay with particles: A neutron enters a bar. The bartender says “For you, no charge.”

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Sara Klink

Technical Writer at Promega Corporation
Sara is a native Wisconsinite who grew up on a fifth-generation dairy farm and decided she wanted to be a scientist at age 12. She was educated at the University of Wisconsin—Parkside, where she earned a B.S. in Biology and a Master’s degree in Molecular Biology before earning her second Master’s degree in Oncology at the University of Wisconsin—Madison. She has worked for Promega Corporation for more than 15 years, first as a Technical Services Scientist, currently as a Technical Writer. Sara enjoys talking about her flock of entertaining chickens and tries not to be too ambitious when planning her spring garden.

3 comments

  1. Sara,
    Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed my jokes – with attribution no less! :)

    I’m compelled to point out that the last one – the neutron joke – is not mine. That’s an old classic that I’m sure everyone has heard.

    And the microbiology one is, Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve bacteria in this bar.” The bacteria say, “But we work here – we’re Staph!” :)

    Here’s a video clip with a few more:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7DkeQ0roAM

    Thanks again!

    Reply

  2. Hi Brian,

    Thanks for the corrections and the video link. I realized I should take notes to remember the jokes after I stopped laughing so I’m not surprised my recall was faulty.

    Reply

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